August 29, 2012

Past NBA Draft Tuxedo-style Mishaps

Joakim Noah in Vintage Tux at NBA Draft

In a matter of months, millions of fans worldwide will literally be glued to their television sets to witness the start of the 2012-2013 National Basketball Association regular season. Yes, it’s almost that time of year to take great delight in watching NBA players complete an 82-game marathon consisting of powerful, flashy slam dunks and ankle-breaking cross-overs intertwined with complex, fast-paced offensive and defensive strategies, in hopes of winning the Larry O’Brien trophy next June. Approaching the start of the season there are many story-lines to consider. For example, how will newly drafted rookies perform on their respective teams? What are the expectations of last year’s contending playoff teams? And how will non-contending teams rise to prominent status? Rather than analyzing and answering these questions for the 30 or so NBA teams, I thought about the rookies; specifically about how they dressed when they were drafted and I wondered, what type of tuxedo did each player wear? And, what were some of the most embarrassing tuxedos worn recently?

At every NBA draft, there’s always that one rookie that stands out, but not in a good way. Not in a good way at all. During the 2007 NBA draft ,one player whose tuxedo left you wondering, “who let him out the house wearing that?” was Joakim Noah. He plays for the Chicago Bulls, is a very talented player, but clearly cannot dress. He decided to don a vintage beige and brown striped tuxedo with an orange-flanneled bow tie. The goofy, cheesy smile didn’t help matters much.

New York Knick guard, Raymond Felton didn’t get the memo as he didn’t wear a tuxedo at all in 2005. I know I know, this is about hideous tuxedos worn in the past, but I can’t let this slide. Instead of wearing a tuxedo, he wore a brown ensemble described as a picnic table in someone’s back yard by Guyism, while wearing black dress shoes. Just a little word of advice: it’s generally a bad idea to wear a predominantly brown ensemble with black. You will be prohibitively laughed at.

In the 1983 NBA draft, a draft bust named Steve Stipanovich dressed in khaki pants to attend his NBA draft, with a blue blazer, light blue shirt, and a beige, and dark blue striped tie. We couldn’t tell if he was dressed for a draft or dressed as a t.v dork attending a second-rate junior prom in his interpretation of a prom tuxedo.

With these disgraceful tuxedos worn in past NBA drafts, I hope you have learned some valuable lessons. While the tuxedos that past rookies have worn are shameful, let’s be grateful this isn’t indicative of their level of talent. With that being said, the NBA season is right around the corner, so I bid your teams good luck.

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